Monday, December 31, 2007
Yes, even if I'd rather tear my eyes out than go to your crappy party, the difference one invitation can make to the self-esteem is quite staggering. Heart-warming.
All in all, 2007 wasn't a bad year. Hopefully 2008 will be even better. Bring on robot butlers and flying cars.
Happy New Year all!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
What a nice few days I've had, even without the pizza (I had beer). Oh actually, now that I think about it, I had pizza on Christmas Eve so it was a perfect Christmas after all.
I guess the next thing is to make up some New Years resolutions that I won't stick to. I think I won't bother going through that process and will just hope to have a year no worse than 2007, which actually turned out to be pretty good.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and follows it with an excellent 2008!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Now I tend to give out a lot about reality television. I think most of it is utter shite. But, man, I can't get enough of this show. It's not just the sexy women. Not at all. In fact, some of them are muck. Nah, I enjoy sassy Tyra, the comic stylings of Miss Jay (and those legs) and the other Jay with the silver hair too. That dude's from the future.
Oh, I love the bitching too. It's entertaining while backing up everything I know to be true about women.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
People say it was just to help the hands stand out. But why not just colour the hands white as they do with some other body parts? Why is it always the same gloves?
Andy speculated that maybe it came from mime. Good theory. I also wondered about blackface minstrels, who wore similar gloves - probably reading too much into it but then it's unlikely to be something easily admitted. And then there's Michael Jackson, the closest thing to a living (but really very creepy) cartoon character.
Bugs Bunny, for example, wears these gloves and nothing else. Not a stitch. Now, he's grey and has several other white patches that didn't require clothing - his feet for example. Why did his hands need gloves? I have no idea.
But I have to find out.
Friday, December 7, 2007
When you really want to criticise someones work who is in the same field as yourself, you're on steadiest ground when you make sure of two important things -
1) That you know whose work you're criticising and you know the full extent of their work.
2) That your own work is the best god damn work on the face of this planet and maybe even the universe.
In this case, well 1 is quite funny. But 2, well, Tp, I visited your blog and actually... I really liked some of the stuff there. You're doing great. Lets see if you keep up that momentum in when you're in the business for as long as many of us have been. I genuinely hope you do and wish you well with your career.
But are you at 2 yet?
I actually feel bad bringing it up as TP apologised and, while that was very cool of him, there was actually no need. That's what the comments are for. We're all entitled to our views and should be able to call it as we see it, even if we're not on that steady ground - after all, he was responding to what he perceived as an attack on other animators . But, importantly, he put forward the idea that we should be on the same team. He's right.
Tp, we are on the same team. And thanks for reminding me of that.
But, hey, when it comes down to it, the crappy drawings on this site (and they are pretty crappy) are a realistic interpretation of my life. See?
Except for the tentacles. I have no idea why the hell they are there.
Really I guess the main reason I'm bringing it up is to reiterate the point that this isn't an art blog. Not in the slightest. If that's what you're looking for, I'd recommend Marlo Meekins. She has excellent work and huge hair and she's really pretty too. Her caricatures will blow you away. Ya think if this was an art blog, I'd be going into post-coital headaches? That would be a great subject to bring up while going through my showreel. "Hey, are you the depressed guy with the post-coital headaches? You know you can't draw hands, right?"
I wouldn't get that job.
Not an art blog guys.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Ryan G - "I think youre just misinformed or just making blind assumptions."
Tp - "You are totally shutting out a lot of talented artists by making a blanket statement like that."
While I'd love to just tell you to go and shite, Tp is onto something (Ryan not as much) so I thought I'd give a little explanation here to help clear the air.
Picture this: 3D animator is standing in the middle of studio floor. Doing horrific Ricky Gervais impressions to entertain the other animators. Door opens. It's a producer. The guy who pays his bills. Now the producer isn't accusing him of anything but it's like being back at school - the animator thinks he's been caught messing when he should be working. He thinks fast. Pulls out the oldest line in 3D animation - "I'm waiting for my scene to render."
That's the scenario. I've seen it many times. No, it doesn't mean that the animator is lazy. 3D animators do work long hours. They do work weekends at crunch time. That's why I wrote it. It just amused me to accuse all 3D animators of laziness. As it turned out, and as I hoped it would, it amused a few 3D animators I know too. They recognised the scenario. They do perform Ricky Gervais impressions. They do talk about Warcraft. They do pull out the age old excuse when a producer barges in.
They also get the "I wish I could use that excuse" from the 2D departments. And that's where I was coming from with it. See, in the panel, I'm sitting at a 2D animation desk. There is no rendering. The excuse is useless. You see? That's what it's about. Ah, forget it... Y'all got distracted reaching for your pitchforks and torches when you saw the headline.
Not to worry. 3D animators - you know I love you, right? Well, most of you. Not the geeks.
I guess I'm glad this is the one I had to explain and not the Mohammed/Bear thing. That could have been more heated.
On top of all this, Tp made some wonderful observations on my drawings. More on that soon if I can be bothered.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Like collecting rare coins.
Only they're never as rare as you thought they were and they won't fetch a good price on Antiques Roadshow.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
So that link says you can have headaches from sex. But to check the diagnosis, they need to do CT scans, MRIs and MRAs. To check if you're getting a headache from having sex. Seems to me the easier option would be to ask, "Are you getting this headache when you have sex?" I should be a doctor - I could save you thousands. If anyone has any health-related questions, just ask here and I'll sort you out in no time.
On this sex/headache thing, my theory is that someone has deemed us unfit for breeding and has installed this as a safeguard against reproduction. Well, joke's on them - I've already reproduced.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Normally, I hate the phone and would starve rather than have to talk to the pizza guy on the other end but, when it comes to interviews, radio is the way to go. That way nobody can read the pain on your face, forcing you to tell the sex/head explosion story.
Everyone's a winner.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Firstly, what the hell do I need a muscle in the back of my head for? I can't lift anything with it. I can't do anything with it. The first time I was even aware of having a muscle in the back of my head was when the agonising pain hit.
And this happens while having sex? Not just having sex - right at the moment of, well, you know... orgasm. No point in beating about that particular bush. Right at that moment, my head suddenly felt like it was going to explode. Hideous pain. I thought I was having a brain hemmorage. I'm pretty sure that's not how you spell that but you know what I mean.
It's been sore ever since. I feel like I'm being punished for having sex. I've been too terrified to try again. Or even crack one off (well, I went with the whole orgasm thing so that pretty much greenlights any topic). I just imagine that moment in Scanners where the guy's head explodes.
Has someone conditioned my mind to punish me when I have sex? I smell a conspiracy.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
But nobody ever actually gives a note to the animator.
So the scene is animated, and it's completely wrong. Okay, so if you're getting paid by the hour, who really cares? Well, I care. I don't like doing things twice. Ever.
But then who does like doing things twice? Twins? That Two-Face guy from Batman?
Monday, November 12, 2007
You can't, can you? Because they'll think you're mental. They'll take your shoelaces from you.
I like my shoelaces.
"There is a better world. There must be..."
Friday, November 9, 2007
It makes economical sense to do your number 2s at work. This way, you get paid for it. If you can work out how much you get paid per hour, you can probably easily figure out just how much money you save by doing your business on work time.
That's money saved and therefore money you can spend elsewhere. Like on DS games, for example, to make your worktime toilet time more enjoyable.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Maybe we'll never know. Poor ol' Russ Meyer will be turning in his grave. Actually I hope this breast remastering doesn't catch on because Supervixens could lose some of its appeal in an itty bitty titty DVD rerelease.
If you are female with large breasts (or, what the hell, even a guy with healthy man-boobs), you are not safe. Pixar wants you eliminated. John Lassiter will stalk you while you sleep. Strike first and strike hard.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
There's a new collection of the Pixar shorts out on DVD. One of them, Knick Knack (about a little snowglobe snowman), featured a rather large-breasted character. However, when the short was attached to one of their movies (I think it may have been Finding Nemo - they all sort of blend together for me now), the character had undergone a pretty drastic breast reduction for some reason.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
a) I was in a hospital yesterday.
b) I have a sore ear/throat thing today.
What other explanation for it could there be? I have one of thos MRSA superbugs that they breed in hospitals. Not doing too badly with it, all things considered. A couple of paracetemol does the trick. Hopefully I'll survive the night because I have to go to work in the morning.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Fact is, even without the scare-mongering, life is terrifying. And not in a Halloween sort of way. A very real way. We live in a world of pain, death, suffering. A world where people drop bombs over others every single day. I've heard depression called the 'disease of the strong' because one of the common factors in a large percentage of sufferers is a sense of responsibility. Some of us try to take on the world's problems and they become our own.
And why shouldn't we? Most people walk around oblivious to the shit that goes on in their name. Only by people opening their eyes to that can we begin to change it. Make things better.
But you can't take on everything.
If the world worries you, stop watching the news. Do what you can, your little bit. Ask some questions, inform someone of some injustice they didn't know about. But stop watching the news. You don't need the corporate leeches driving you into a panic.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
It's bloody October! Well, it was leading up to Halloween. When one holiday is kicking off earlier than the previous one, you're starting too damn early. Enough with early Christmas you gougers. I'm taking this to the government. Christmas before November 25th will be outlawed and you'll be sent to Gitmo for a photo shoot if you so much as have one prickly leaf in your shop.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Though I'm sure there are some children totally freaked out by that.
Around here, the children go wild for fireworks though and I don't like that. Partly because, every year, some kid loses a face or some fingers and partly because it freaks dogs out and I like dogs.
Anyway, happy Halloween!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Many scientists increasingly believe that this may be true. It is especially true at the weekend, after you've had a long week at work.
The good news is that I have Monday off, the genius that is Saw IV is in the cinema and I'm still alive.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I wasn't found exactly like this at any stage but I've been close and drawing it really made me wonder just how scary it is for the wife/husband/gay life partner/aquaintance/rent boy who has to live with someone who is prone to depression. Having been through it a few times, I like to think I'd know the signs myself and see it coming but I know the last time I was hit bad, I didn't have any idea until I was completely in the mire.
I'd say people like us are a pain in the ass but I guess that's why it should be recognised when your wife/husband/gay life partner/aquaintance/rent boy sticks with you and helps you look out for those warning signs.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Even a simple 'good morning' on a Monday can send me into a rage.
Hello, Lovely morning, Heard the forecast? See the match? Why aren't you wearing pants?
And I can assure you the last thing I want to hear about is your fecking boyfriend. That doesn't just apply on Monday. That's every day of my entire, probably short, life.
Puh-lease. Mondays. Leave. Me. Alone. Especially if I so obviously look like shit. By the way, if there was a third panel to this image, it would be me punching her in the face.
I wish I had drawn a third panel.
Edit: Oh what the hell. Here's what the third panel would look like:
Sunday, October 21, 2007
There is no sanctuary left. Unless I buy a plane ticket to some hot country and just live on a beach somewhere, just catching fish to live.
But I hate fish.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Anyone got SAD yet?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
In short, it's a dangerous bastard and when you feckers throw it away, you're going to be contributing to the downfall of the human race. An over-reaction? Not in the slightest. You only have to look at rising cancer rates across all age groups (especially the young) and rising fertility problems.
That's all aside from the usual mobile phone emission problems.
The Greenpeace report can be found here and you should Google all of the materials they found. Lawsuits are already beginning. And rightly so. You should know about this. You should care. Every single one of you.
Monday, October 15, 2007
And where the hell are my silver jumpsuits? My flying cars? My robot butlers? Eh? Eh? What the hell went wrong?
No, it's 2007 and I'm just going to work like people did back in 1977. Or 1937. Or 1877. Except that last group of people are now dead. Too many Mondays can be fatal. Each Monday brings you one week closer to death.
There's a cheery thought for a Monday morning.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Anyway, yeah, delayed... ejaculation.
You wouldn't believe the work I have been putting in to getting those little swimmers out. Dear lord it's a full-scale workout. I just keep going and going like one of those energiser bunnies in some battery porn. And that final push is a killer.
I hope you ladies appreciate the work.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
As a bloke, my chance of getting cancer is one in two.
1 in 2 (for those of you who couldn't take the time to read it in words).
I have just as high a chance of getting cancer as not getting it. For you ladies, it's one in three. Still high enough to be pretty damn scary. Most form of cancers, you won't even know before it's too late. I could (and probably do) have bowel cancer right now and wouldn't know about it. Especially as a side effect of many anti-depressants is gastrinal bleeding. You could shit blood and think it's just a side effect. Two months later you're dead.
One in two. I'm doomed.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
That's the real bad side to using computers in animation - too much distraction. I'd love to throw them out and get them all back to the drawing desks and see how long they last.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
So why bother? It's like some girly diary. And if you're reading this, you're snooping. Get out of my room.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
This doesn't help. Ever. Seriously.
HAVING DEPRESSION IS NOT THE SAME AS HAVING AN OFF-DAY.
Depression is a condition. Look it up. Read about it. It's pretty serious stuff. Just because you feel down does not mean you have depression.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Yes, actually. I'm itchy. Although I'm prone to itchiness I think. I once scratched a layer of skin off my foot. Kind of disgusting, eh? I don't ever seem to get rashes or anything (I'm not some mange-ridden disaster zone). Just itchy sometimes.
Must... scratch... knee...
Monday, September 24, 2007
You'll find people living with depression in all walks of life. Isn't it amazing how many times we find out entertainers are ridden with it though? Almost every time a comedian dies, it comes out that they suffered most of their lives with depression.
Does the pressure to entertain eat away at us?
Or is entertaining a way of dealing with it?
Like the chicken and egg thing, except that has an easy answer (the egg). The good thing about being in animation is that you get to sit at a desk for hours on end on your own. This means that you just have to get the 'funny' and 'joy of life' onto the page. You don't have to live it. Which is good because most animators aren't funny. And usually those who are most convinced they are funny are the least funny.
If you cross your eyes when someone takes a picture, I mean you.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I'm an animator. I draw "funny" cartoons. I have depression. I am medicated.
That's my life.
Want to see nice pictures? Surf porn. Want to learn some dirty animation secrets? Well, you may just find one or two here if I ever post. Want to know a little about depression and how people deal with it beyond what you've seen in Sideways? Well, you'll probably find a good bit about that here.
Again, that's if I ever post.